Reported by: Ijeoma G | Edited by: Henry Owen
When people say “for better or worse,” many imagine love will conquer everything. But for Amara (not her real name), a 36-year-old woman from Lagos, love wasn’t enough to sustain her marriage when emotional and physical intimacy disappeared.
In a candid interview with Stone Reporters News, Amara shared how the gradual loss of connection in her marriage led her to make one of the hardest decisions of her life — walking away from a relationship that once meant everything.
“I loved my husband deeply,” she began, her voice calm but heavy with reflection. “But over time, we stopped being close — not just emotionally, but physically too. The affection faded. We hardly talked, hardly touched, and I started feeling invisible. It was like living with a stranger.”
According to her, the disconnection crept in quietly. At first, she blamed herself — thinking perhaps she wasn’t trying hard enough to keep the spark alive. She prayed, sought advice, and tried to rebuild the emotional bridge between them, but nothing changed.
“I tried everything — being more caring, more patient, more understanding. But I felt like I was the only one trying. He stopped seeing me, stopped hearing me. The intimacy that once brought us together became something mechanical — empty,” she said softly.
Amara explained that while her husband remained a good man, the relationship had become hollow. “He provided, yes. But there was no connection. And when a woman feels emotionally neglected, it affects every part of her,” she said.
Commenting on situations like Amara’s, relationship therapist Dr. Funmi Alade, a Lagos-based marriage counselor, said that emotional and physical intimacy are inseparable pillars of a healthy relationship.
“Many marriages in Nigeria collapse not because of infidelity or finances, but because couples lose emotional connection,” Dr. Alade explained. “When partners stop communicating, showing affection, or meeting each other’s emotional needs, intimacy suffers — and once that bond breaks, resentment and loneliness follow.”
She added that cultural pressures often prevent couples from seeking help early. “People are taught to endure rather than communicate. By the time one partner speaks up, the emotional damage is already deep,” she noted.
For Amara, leaving wasn’t an impulsive decision — it was a painful choice made after years of silence.
“Walking away wasn’t about pride,” she said. “It was about survival. I didn’t want to lose myself completely. I wanted peace, and I couldn’t find that staying in a marriage that no longer felt alive.”
Amara’s story echoes a growing reality among Nigerian couples — that marriages can fail even without infidelity or violence. Experts say rebuilding emotional and physical intimacy requires patience, communication, and sometimes professional help.
As Amara put it:
“Love is important, but it’s not enough. Without connection, communication, and effort from both sides, love can fade — quietly, painfully, and completely.”
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